*** SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT ***

Welcome. I’m pleased to have you all here today. As stated yesterday, I have an important announcement to make at this time.

In recent years including most of the past two decades, we have had an abundance of political candidates not just from the two major parties – the Democrats and the Republicans – but also the smaller parties that few know about. And yet, despite this abundance of candidates, not one has been able to inspire the nation to come together and work as one people.

Instead, we are left with options of voting for “the lesser evil”, or “I’m voting for X because I dislike Y even more”, or simply not voting at all. My fellow Americans, I’m here to tell you that it’s time to stop voting while holding your nose. It’s time to stop voting for either Tweedle-Dee or Tweedle-Dum. It’s time to stop feeling guilty for voting for those who you know to be whores for big money corporations and special interest groups.

It’s time to stop all that and instead vote for a candidate that won’t sell you out. It’s time to vote for a candidate that will fight for you against a government and politicians that have forgotten just who it is that they serve. It’s time to vote for a candidate that won’t be swayed by big money or popular causes, and who instead will do what’s right for America. It’s time to vote for a candidate that you can feel good about for a change.

Thus, it is with the utmost humility that I announce my candidacy for the office of President of the United States of America.

Because the Democrats and Republicans aren’t about to let what they regard as “some yahoo off of the street” to participate in their debates, I will instead rely on the wonderful modern technology of the Internet to get the word out of my candidacy. I will use my blog to state my positions on issues so that you know exactly what I stand for. In other words, you won’t be getting pretty words and flowery phrases that you hear from the other candidates.

Now understand that I am on a shoestring budget – and I had to get a loan for the string. However, this should not be seen as a minus, but a plus. How so? It is through such financial struggles that I am able to understand your financial struggles. When I say that I know what you’re going through, it’s because I am going through it as well. Do you think that Mitt Romney or Hillary Clinton truly know what you’re going through? Do you think that Barack Obama or John McCain understand what it means to just scrape by? They don’t but I do, because I’m one of you.

Also, compared to the amount of publicity that the major candidates can get, I am limited to this one source of my blog. However, this should not be seen as a minus, but a plus. How so? It is through such voicelessness that I am able to understand your voicelessness when you cry out in anger and frustration when the big shots and big boys raise your taxes or impose the will of the big money corporations and special interest groups on you. I feel your frustration, because I go through it as well. They don’t hear you, and they don’t hear me. We are voices crying out in the wilderness. They don’t hear you, but I do, because I’m one of you.

I don’t have fancy clothes. I have only one car, and I bought it used. I have one house, and it’s an older one. My total assets are nowhere near six digits. However, that should not be seen as a minus, but a plus. How so? This means that I can relate to you when it comes to being grateful for what I have instead of lamenting what I don’t have. The big boys and fat cats that make up most politicians have much, much more than you or I will ever have, but still they want even more. So how can such people relate to you or me? They can’t, but I can, because I’m one of you.

When it comes to big social gatherings or parties, I feel as out of place as one of the Three Stooges at a high-society function. I wouldn’t know which fork to use or what glass is for what. I’d rather have a soda instead of wine, and I’d rather have chicken fried steak with green beans than veal and pâté. However, this should not be seen as a minus, but a plus. How so? Because it means that I can relate to you when it comes to these large social functions that most of us wouldn’t get invited to. If we tried to go anyway, we’d most likely be kicked out at best, or arrested at worst. How can the big boy politicians relate to us and how we feel in such gatherings? But I know how it feels to be left out, because I’m one of you.

I don’t have a fancy suit. I bought my dress shoes at a department store, and on sale. Most of my wardrobe is t-shirts and jeans. The big boys go to faraway places to “recharge”; I take 15 minute “power naps” during my lunch hour. The big boys go to high-dollar doctors for their treatments; I go to doctors that are on my HMO. They can raise millions of dollars by calling their high-dollar connections; I’ll be surprised if my fund-raising reaches 4 digits. I’m in this fight with about the same as you have. Working apart, we might as well be fleas to the big boys, but working together, we can wag the dog.

You can vote for Mitt, Barack, John, or Hillary, but none of them are going to relate to you as well as I do, because they are not one of you. But I am. I don’t have a lot to help my campaign – in fact; all I basically have is you. But if enough of us work together, you will be all that I need. Vote for me in ’08, and you’ll be voting for one of your own. And if, by some miracle, I am elected, I will never forget who got me there. I promise you that.

Over the course of this month, I will give you my take on the issues, and during the rest of the campaign season, I will follow what the other candidates are saying, so that I can give you my side as well. Or rather, OUR side.

Thank you, and God bless.

John P. Araujo