Man tries to board Popemobile

A man tried to board Pope Benedict XVI's Popemobile as it went along St. Peter's Square in Vatican City. Fortunately, not only was the Pope not hurt, he didn't even seem to notice the man trying to grab the back of the Popemobile - so quickly had the guards grabbed the man and wrestled him to the ground.

What this shows, though, is that the Pope needs Pope Goons. He needs goons for protection in situations like this. Don't get me wrong, the Pope's security force is cool and all that, but the Swiss Guard's uniforms look too nice, and such dirty work should be the job of Pope Goons.

Here are the Swiss Guards' uniforms. See? Who wants to mess that up taking down somebody? Nope, you need a guy who looks like someone you don't want to mess with.