Friday, May 22, 2009

Benny Baloney, P.I.

Benny Baloney is a 1940's private eye character in the tradition of Sam Spade and others like him. Thing is, I created him on a lark, but my readers have enjoyed him so much that I've pretty much created a little universe of him and the surrounding characters. It's been awhile since I've written a BB story, but yet again on a lark, I started a BB story on my Facebook page. Having gotten something of a rhythm going, I'll post to there maybe about 3-5 times a week, and each Friday I'll post the whole week's worth of work here as a way of archiving it. Here is what I had this week:


Benny Baloney and the case of Rhode Island Red

She was a hot lookin' dame, with hair so red it set off smoke alarms and legs so long giraffes were jealous. But I've been in this business long enough to know that hot dames often pack trouble in their purses, and hers was named Smith & Wesson. I should have seen this coming, but I could never resist a pretty face. Just another day in my line of work.

Her name was Rhode Island Red, and she had been running the mob on the south side of town for the past 6 months. "Sticking your nose where it doesn't belong, detective?", she said as she waved her pistol in my face. "Red, you know that sticking my nose where it don't belong comes with the job." She answered by conking my noggin with her gun, dropping me to my knees. As I shook that off, I heard the gun click.

I ain't chattin' with St. Pete yet, so I raise my head to see what Red's up to. Gun still pointed at me, I can see the gears turning in her head. "No" she says, as an evil but sexy grin spreads on her trademark red lips. "No, not this time. This time, I want the great detective to owe me one." She steps back and says, "But I will leave a parting gift." Without looking away she says "Boys, it's playtime".

I wake up face down sucking sidewalk with my head ringing like the xylophone section of the Philharmonic Orchestra. I then remember that Red's goons had roughed me up with their watermelon-sized mitts. As I get to my feet shaking the cobwebs, I notice a notecard in my trenchcoat pocket. I spot the red lipstick print right away. "Until next time, Mr. Baloney." Underneath the lipstick print is "SWAK".


Rhode Island Red is a totally new character, who has a red-themed schtick going with her name, appearance, and so forth. What's up with the red theme? I don't know yet. It could be that it's her favorite color, or that she's trying to draw attention to herself, or some other reason. All I know is that I will know her reasons before you will. :-)

Anyway, I'll try to make this a weekly thing, and feel free to offer your suggestions and criticisms. It's still my hope to make a website of my previous BB stories, and with some time off coming up, I might finally get around to doing that. And of course, I'll include the RIR story in there, as well.

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