Saturday, June 27, 2009

Chapter 4

Here is this week's installments of my current Benny Baloney PI story. Next week will be the finale.


Rule #1 for Goon Psychology 101: When the lights go out, goons get spooked and start firing. Me, Betty and Trixie immediately hit the floor as the gun battle begins. With bullets whizzing over us, we crawl to the one door that has light shining at the bottom of it. We hear one goon fall, then another as Red yells, "QUIT SHOOTING, YOU IDIOTS!' as she swats at them.

We all manage to scamper outside into the alley, just in time to hear the police sirens in the distance. "Sounds like the boys are almost here," I whisper to Trixie and Betty. I hand Betty the gun I nabbed off one of the mooks while crawling past him. "Here. Take this, go meet the cops, and lead them down to Red's hideout. I'm going back in to nab Red." Betty nods her head and darts off, followed by Trixie.

Sneaking back into Red's hideout turned out to be a piece o' cake, 'cause Red is busy yelling at her goons. "We lost our ticket outta here, you morons! Now the cops are about to be crawling all over the place! Upstairs - NOW!" I then hear the scamperings of little goon feet charging up the stairs, so I tiptoe my way back to the room where I was before. Then I see stars, and I ain't talkin' Hollywood.

I manage to keep myself from going completely out despite being pistol-whipped by Red. I still have trouble keeping up as she darts down the alleyway and towards the river. However, she runs into a dead-end, and she knows it,'cause she wheels around to face me and pulls out her gun. "Not another step, detective!"

"You have no bullets, Red. Otherwise you would have shot me back there when you had the chance." Red grunts "Ngh! You and your deductive reasoning!" She then hurls her gun at me, which I easily sidestep, but it was meant to be a distraction anyway for her to slip away to a set of stairs that I didn't see from my angle. Given that she is wearing high heels, she makes good time as she clanks up the metal steps.


Friday, June 19, 2009

Chapter 3 of Benny Baloney

Below is this week's postings of my current Benny Baloney story that is currently going on in my Facebook page. Big finish is coming up!


I shake down every informant I know that might know anything about where Rhode Island Red hides out, but it ain't until I get to Sammy the Snitch that I finally get someone who knows something. "I want something in return for this information, Benny." I yank Sammy up by his lapels and growl, "Okay, you'll keep all your teeth." Sammy audibly gulps and says, "Good deal. Okay, here's what I found out..."

Me and Trixie are staking out the riverside dive known as the Gingerbread House. This is where Sammy the Snitch said that Red runs her operation. Normally I don't bring Trixie, but I need her in case Betty needs help while I concentrate on nabbing Red. Plus, Trixie has her famous "Joisey Rules Uppercut" - of which I have felt personally, so I know that she can take care of herself. And protect Betty, if need be.

"Remember the rules, Trixie: no swingin' until I say so" I whisper as we enter The Gingerbread House. "Got it." she whispers back. We stroll in and I case the joint as she follows close behind. It's the usual crowd of thugs, goons, bonebreakers and other mooks. A normal night, in other words. I start towards the bar when I feel a gun barrel in my back. I then hear Trixie mutter, "Aw nerts."

With guns in our backs, Trixie and I are led to a floor below the Gingerbread House, and into a large room that has Red standing next to Betty, who is seated on a chair. "Benny!" exclaims Betty. "Hey, I was just having a chat with Red! We've been talking it over and..." Suddenly one of Red's goons interrupts by cocking a gun aimed at Betty's head. "...and, uh - I guess we're done talking now..."

Betty turns to Red and exclaims, "So all that girl talk was just for show eh? This whole time, you were just setting me up to be a bargaining chip!" "You're far too trusting, my dear" Red replied with a smirk. "Well, at least allow me to finish this excellent tea". Betty takes several sips, savoring each sip. Suddenly she hurls the saucer upward, hitting the light fixtures. Everything goes pitch black...

Friday, June 12, 2009

Next chapter of Benny Baloney

Hey, folks. This week I've been working on the next chapter of my latest Benny Baloney PI story. Below is this week's installment:


"Okay, Benny - so what do we do next about Red?" asked my private eye business partner (and kid sister) Betty. I scratch my 3-day beard on this poser. "Well kid, she got the drop on me, and it's only 'cause she wanted me to owe her a favor that I'm still here now." I then snap my finger. "But YOU don't owe her no favors - so bend an ear kiddo, 'cause here's what we're gonna do..."

My secretary Trixie is able to open envelopes using only her fingernail. She claims she learned it in secretary school. I'm watching her rip through today's mail as I'm pacing back and forth waiting for word from Betty. "Any calls yet, Trixie?" "Have ya hoid da phone ring, boss? No! Now siddown, shaddap, and take it easy! Ol' Betts is a smart kid! She'll figger dis out!" Trixie says in her Jersey accent.

All this sitting and pacing waiting for Betty to call ain't doin' me a hill o' beans. Trixie's watching me and shaking her head. "Boss, why dontcha go woik on uddah cases? Yer drivin' me nertz wid all yer walkin' around!" She plops down a stack of folders of still active cases and orders, "Here. Look t'ru dese and find a case you can woik on in da meantime!" She's right, of course, so I start sorting.

I find a case to work on, a mobster by the name of Tweets Flappywings, when the phone rings. I grab the phone and yell "Betty!" "Guess again" a female voice coos on the other side. I sneer out "Red". "Yes! And nice try, sending in your sister like that. She's my guest now." "If you do anything...!" "No, Benny - I hold the cards here. I'll be in touch." She then hangs up, and I slam the phone down.


Need I say? To be continued...!

Friday, June 05, 2009

See you next week

Sorry for the lack of posts in recent day, folks, but I've have had some medical issues to deal with lately. Details of such may be forthcoming - I'll think about it. It's not so much that it's anything shocking, but that I tend to be a private person about such matters - that is, I am not comfortable posting publicly what I regard as a personal matter. I hope you understand.

Anyway, I'll try to resume my regular blogging schedule next week.

In the meantime, your good thoughts and prayers are greatly appreciated.