Final chapter of the Benny Baloney story

Okay folks - here is the final chapter of the Benny Baloney story, and it's a long one because I wanted to wrap it up during the week. I hope you enjoyed the story

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Only now am I beginning to notice that Red's conk to my noggin not only left a knot, it also broke skin. I feel blood trickling down, and my head is starting to pound like a jackhammer. I've had hangovers that made me feel worse, though. I follow Red up the metal staircase, but I wish it weren't so damned long. I finally reach Red just in time to hear her curse a blue streak.

“Just found out that you went to the observation deck, I see.” I tell Red. “Might as well give it up, toots. There's no other way out.” Red looks one way, then another as her breath gets more shallow. Then she stops and looks straight at me, declaring, “I’m not going back to prison”. Before I can react, she suddenly disappears over the railing just before I pass out from the pain in my head.

"BENNY!" Betty yells in my face. "You awake? C'mon, wake up!" I suddenly jolt up to a sitting position only to feel my head pound like thunder. I fall back to what I discover is Trixie's lap. "Howyadoin' boss?" Trixie inquires from above me and upside down. "I wish I had been doing something fun that was worth having this headache." I reply just as Betty hands me an icebag.

As I apply the icebag to the knot on my head, I tell Betty, “So fill me in, kiddo." "From the looks of it, you chased Red up to this observation deck, and apparently she jumped over the railing to escape. You tried to stop her, but passed out.” “Oh. Oh yeah, that’s right.” I respond as it all starts coming back to me. I then look her way and ask, “Did you find Red?”

Betty's face becomes crestfallen. "No Benny, we did not. The cops are still looking for her. There's only the river below us, and we're high up enough that diving from such a height would have knocked her out. The cops just now sent divers to the river bottom." I get myself to my feet, despite the dizziness and the ache in my head. "There's still some things we can check out, Betty. Follow me."

"But we already searched Red's hideout, Benny." says Betty as we enter the room. "No Betty, you didn't." I scan the room. "What do you mean?" "Because you didn't find anything. There's a reason it's called a hideout." I point to a spot on the floor. "Here" "Just scratches, Benny." "But note the pattern, Betty - back and forth." I shove the desk aside and start feeling the floor.

My fingers finally find a notch and I get enough of a fingerhold to lift the false floor up. "Bingo." "A secret vault!" Betty exclaims. A quick examination of the contents reveals a treasure trove of incriminating evidence. "We got goods here to finger other mob bosses, business leaders, and politicians. Even if Red surfaces again, her empire is dead." We gather up the rest of the vault's contents.

Trixie notices us coming out with armloads of documents "Whatchat got dere, Boss?" "This is how we’re getting’ paid for this case even if we didn't nab Red." When the police lieutenant shows up, we hand him the goods. “Thank you, detectives. You’ve done this city a huge favor.” “All in a day’s work, officer.” I manage to reply, despite the soreness on my forehead. I'm gettin' too old for this.

"Yes, Officer. Thanks for lettin' us know. Goodbye." I haven't even hung up the phone yet before Betty’s asking "What'd he say?" "They ain't found Red yet. They'll keep looking and will let us know if anything turns up." "Drat! It's been 2 days, Benny! Where could she be?" I light up a cig as I say, "All the more reason I shoulda stopped her when I had the chance."

"C'mon, Benny - don't beat yourself up over this. You had a concussion, you know!" "Kid, it was just a conk on the noggin. I coulda shook it off." "Ben, we got all that stuff on her anyway, so we got something done." "Yeah Betts, we did. But not everything I had hoped to do. Ya know I hate unfinished business." "Why'd she do it, Benny? Why'd she leap over that railing? I don't get it."

“Hard to say, kiddo. Before she jumped, she said she wasn’t going back to prison – that’s our only clue. But she had to know that water was below – I don’t see her as the suicidal type.” I take a couple of drags on my cig as I scan the city skyline outside my window. “I have a sneaky suspicion, Betty, that we ain’t seen the last of Rhode Island Red.”

(The End)

Next chapter of Benny Baloney

Hey, folks. This week I've been working on the next chapter of my latest Benny Baloney PI story. Below is this week's installment:

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"Okay, Benny - so what do we do next about Red?" asked my private eye business partner (and kid sister) Betty. I scratch my 3-day beard on this poser. "Well kid, she got the drop on me, and it's only 'cause she wanted me to owe her a favor that I'm still here now." I then snap my finger. "But YOU don't owe her no favors - so bend an ear kiddo, 'cause here's what we're gonna do..."

My secretary Trixie is able to open envelopes using only her fingernail. She claims she learned it in secretary school. I'm watching her rip through today's mail as I'm pacing back and forth waiting for word from Betty. "Any calls yet, Trixie?" "Have ya hoid da phone ring, boss? No! Now siddown, shaddap, and take it easy! Ol' Betts is a smart kid! She'll figger dis out!" Trixie says in her Jersey accent.

All this sitting and pacing waiting for Betty to call ain't doin' me a hill o' beans. Trixie's watching me and shaking her head. "Boss, why dontcha go woik on uddah cases? Yer drivin' me nertz wid all yer walkin' around!" She plops down a stack of folders of still active cases and orders, "Here. Look t'ru dese and find a case you can woik on in da meantime!" She's right, of course, so I start sorting.

I find a case to work on, a mobster by the name of Tweets Flappywings, when the phone rings. I grab the phone and yell "Betty!" "Guess again" a female voice coos on the other side. I sneer out "Red". "Yes! And nice try, sending in your sister like that. She's my guest now." "If you do anything...!" "No, Benny - I hold the cards here. I'll be in touch." She then hangs up, and I slam the phone down.

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Need I say? To be continued...!

Benny Baloney, P.I.

Benny Baloney is a 1940's private eye character in the tradition of Sam Spade and others like him. Thing is, I created him on a lark, but my readers have enjoyed him so much that I've pretty much created a little universe of him and the surrounding characters. It's been awhile since I've written a BB story, but yet again on a lark, I started a BB story on my Facebook page. Having gotten something of a rhythm going, I'll post to there maybe about 3-5 times a week, and each Friday I'll post the whole week's worth of work here as a way of archiving it. Here is what I had this week:

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Benny Baloney and the case of Rhode Island Red

She was a hot lookin' dame, with hair so red it set off smoke alarms and legs so long giraffes were jealous. But I've been in this business long enough to know that hot dames often pack trouble in their purses, and hers was named Smith & Wesson. I should have seen this coming, but I could never resist a pretty face. Just another day in my line of work.

Her name was Rhode Island Red, and she had been running the mob on the south side of town for the past 6 months. "Sticking your nose where it doesn't belong, detective?", she said as she waved her pistol in my face. "Red, you know that sticking my nose where it don't belong comes with the job." She answered by conking my noggin with her gun, dropping me to my knees. As I shook that off, I heard the gun click.

I ain't chattin' with St. Pete yet, so I raise my head to see what Red's up to. Gun still pointed at me, I can see the gears turning in her head. "No" she says, as an evil but sexy grin spreads on her trademark red lips. "No, not this time. This time, I want the great detective to owe me one." She steps back and says, "But I will leave a parting gift." Without looking away she says "Boys, it's playtime".

I wake up face down sucking sidewalk with my head ringing like the xylophone section of the Philharmonic Orchestra. I then remember that Red's goons had roughed me up with their watermelon-sized mitts. As I get to my feet shaking the cobwebs, I notice a notecard in my trenchcoat pocket. I spot the red lipstick print right away. "Until next time, Mr. Baloney." Underneath the lipstick print is "SWAK".

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Rhode Island Red is a totally new character, who has a red-themed schtick going with her name, appearance, and so forth. What's up with the red theme? I don't know yet. It could be that it's her favorite color, or that she's trying to draw attention to herself, or some other reason. All I know is that I will know her reasons before you will. :-)

Anyway, I'll try to make this a weekly thing, and feel free to offer your suggestions and criticisms. It's still my hope to make a website of my previous BB stories, and with some time off coming up, I might finally get around to doing that. And of course, I'll include the RIR story in there, as well.